Last month, we began looking at the importance of us teaching and training our children and some practical ways we can go about doing so, primarily directing our attention to them with us in the worship service each Sunday morning. We want to be sure to follow Asaph's resolution to "recount to the generation to come the praises of Yahweh [or the LORD], and His strength and His wondrous deeds that He has done . . . That the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born, that they may arise and recount them to their children, that they should set their confidence in God and not forget the deeds of God, but observe His commandments" (Psalm 78:4; 6-7) and not make the mistake the people did during the time of the judges where the generation who first had entered the land failed to teach their children the ways of the Lord with the result that "there arose another generation after them who did not know Yahweh or even the work which He had done for Israel" (Judges 2:10). And the only way to ensure that we follow Asaph's lead and not the ones spoken about in the book of Judges is to be intentional in teaching our kids the person and work of the Lord.
While
it is essential that we bring our children to the worship service each week and
work to help them participate in it and pay attention to what is going on there,
that of course is not enough to effectively teach and train them in the ways of
the Lord. It will only do the most good if that is coupled with regular
teaching and training each day in the home. Our focus in this article is how we
can best do that as parents (or contribute or even fill in the gap that might
be missing at their home as grandparents) the other six days of the week.
Again, I do not write this as an expert or one who is anywhere close to perfect
in my own parenting but who strives as a dad to raise my boys "in the discipline
and instruction of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4). Much of what follows is what
I have learned from my own study of God's Word and from others which I am
seeking to practice with my family or intend to start practicing sometime soon.
A
foundational passage for us in teaching and training our children individually
to come to know and love the Lord at home is Deuteronomy 6:4-9. What is known
as the Shema (the Hebrew word for
"hear") and served as the morning and evening prayer of the Jews. The
verses call us to recognize who our God is; that He is Yahweh who had revealed
Himself to Moses and the Old Testament fathers such as Abraham, Isaac, and
Jacob, the one and only God in existence (v. 4), as well as that we are to love
Him with every part of our being (v. 5) and obey His word since that is an
outworking of our love for Him (John 14:15, 21, 23; 2 John 6). Who God is and
what it means to love Him is not something that we are to practice and keep to
ourselves. We are told in v. 7, "You shall teach them diligently to your
sons and shall speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the
way and when you lie down and when you rise up." That pretty much covers wherever
we go and whatever we do, doesn't it? Whether we are sitting down in the house
somewhere, going to a place, when we lie down for the night and the moment we
get up in the morning, we are to be teaching about the Lord and His word to our
children. Everything we encounter in our lives together with them ought to be
viewed as an opportunity to help them understand what is going on from a
biblical worldview and perspective. It can be a way to point them to Jesus and
the gospel. I remember a commercial I saw quite some time ago where a man
appeared to be talking to himself as he walked on the street. He would explain
what was in a store he passed and why they sold what they did. Then talk about
the kind of car or bike that went by him. You would have thought the man was
crazy having this conversation explaining everything he saw until the camera
zoomed out to show him pushing a baby stroller. Turns out he was trying to
teach his tiny son or daughter about the world. That's a great example of how
we are to turn everything we see and experience into a lesson into what God's
Word says about Him, the world in which we live, and the gospel of what Christ
has done for all who, by grace, believe in Him.
In
addition to treating everything as a Bible teaching and gospel opportunity for
our children, as parents (and grandparents), we need to labor to saturate them
with the Bible. The one thing we cannot do too much for our children is to
familiarize them with the Bible and its storyline. And this is something we should
do at the earliest of ages and build upon as they grow older. There are some
very good books out now for our children which can help you teach your kids the
big picture of the Bible and how the various stories all contribute to God's
one overarching plan of redemption. One of the favorites for my kids (which I
love as well) is Carl Laferton's "The Garden, the Curtain, and the
Cross". (Really, any in the "Tales That Tell the Truth" series
is good but this one I believe does the best in communicating the main
storyline of Scripture with the gospel and how it centers on Jesus.) For when
they are really little, reading a Bible storybook to them with the different
stories of the Bible told on their level can be helpful. We have went through a
number of them and the best that I have found are Kevin DeYoung's "The Biggest
Story Bible Storybook," Kenneth Taylor's "Bible Stories Every Child
Should Know", and "The One Big Story Bible Storybook." All of
these do so well not presenting the stories in isolation but as part of one
continuous story about Jesus and the salvation He came to bring. Of course, nothing
can take the place of reading the Bible itself to your children so that they
can hear God's Word directly as it has been written. And then when they get old
enough to read themselves, encouraging them to read from the Bible as well.
Work on helping them memorize verses from the Bible each week or month. This is
a great way to help them hide God's Word in their heart and get it into them
for the Spirit to use to possibly bring them to Christ. (And trust me, your kids
can handle the memorization. Just ask them to quote a scene from their favorite
movie. They are truly like little sponges!) J. C. Ryle put it well when he
wrote about this many years ago, "Fill their minds with Scripture. Let the
Word dwell in them richly. Give them the Bible, the whole Bible, even while
they are young."
Not
only does it help for you to read the Bible to them but also to sing it
together with them. When Keith and Kristyn Getty, the songwriting duo who have
given us some of our favorite modern hymns such as "In Christ Alone,"
"Speak, O Lord," and "Oh, How Good It Is," first met John
MacArthur, they asked the popular preacher if he had any advice on raising
children. They were surprised when he told them to "Fill your home with
songs of the Lord. Fill the car, their kitchens, their bedrooms, over and above
doctrine and teaching. The songs they sing will have a bigger influence on
them." One of the best ways to help children learn about the Lord and His
Word is to get them singing songs about such. It is easier to remember things
put to music and sung. Just think about the number of songs from your own
childhood that have stuck with you today. You can still remember the tunes and
sing them word for word all these many years later. We certainly want our kids
to do that with good songs that communicate the truth of God according to
Scripture. And nothing warms a parent's heart as hearing their 1½ year old casually
walking around the house singing, "holey, holey, holey" and the tune
of "Amazing Grace" even before they can say all the words to it and
certainly don't understand the meaning of them. I have found that singing some
hymns each night before the kids go to sleep both helpful to get them to relax
and to further learn these great truths about our God.
An additional teaching tool for our children when it comes to Scripture and doctrine is that of a catechism. A series of questions and answers which go through the basic points of Scriptural teaching regarding what the Bible is, who God is, who we are as sinners, who Jesus is, how we are saved by grace through faith in Christ, the Ten Commandments, the Lord's Prayer, baptism, the Lord's Supper. Work on going through and help them memorize one or two a week. You will be amazed when all you have to do is ask them what sin is and they give you the response from the catechism. This is yet another way to instill the teachings of Scripture into the minds and hearts of our children so that they can grow into such truths and have the soil further prepared for the working of the Holy Spirit to bring them to faith in the Lord in His perfect timing. While there are a number of good catechisms out there for your family to use, the one we are planning to start soon with our close to five year old is "The Baptist Catechism for Children" available here: https://www.fairviewbaptistchurch.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/The-Baptist-Catechism-for-Children.pdf. Know that a Presbyterian one more likely will teach infant baptism which we cannot agree with due to the clear teaching of Scripture that baptism always follows someone's faith and serves as a profession of it.
Finally,
set some time aside each day to have a moment of family worship. Basically, to
have your own mini-worship service with your family in your living room (or
wherever would be best for the family to get together). This was an ancient
practice that I believe needs to be revived today. In fact, hundreds of years
ago, it would have been unthinkable for a Christian family not to have such
regularly throughout their week. Jonathan Edwards once said that "every
Christian family ought to be as it were a little church, consecrated to Christ,
and wholly influenced and governed by his rules. And family education and order
are some of the chief means of grace. If these fail, all other means are likely
to prove ineffectual. If these are duly maintained, all the means of grace will
be likely to prosper and be successful." And you don't have to be a pastor
with a theology degree to do this. In many ways, it incorporates all we just
talked about. Read a passage of Scripture, maybe point out a few things you
observe in it, ask some questions, if the kids are older have a discussion with
them about it, sing a hymn, go through one of the catechism questions, and pray. It can be only 15 minutes or up to half
an hour, depending on the age of your children. The main thing is to have some
time together to intentionally focus on the Lord and worship Him. This will pay
major dividends to leading them to Jesus and teaching them who He is and what
it means to worship Him. It also will serve as practice for them for when we
all get together on Sunday morning for the longer worship service. And if you
fail a day or so to do so, not a problem. Just begin again the next day and
work to make such a priority for your family once more.
Striving
to teach and train the next generation along with you in my own home,
Pastor
Lee